Lots to catch up on...and don't worry...I've been praying for my kids!
I will have to do this in spurts because it's going to take awhile...
California, a wedding, a busy couple weeks of "life," and a birthday party where Spiderman, Batman, and Ironman were all invited and very present...
see? LOTS to catch up on! :-)

To begin...our trip to CA was one of the best times I have had...maybe because it was all so new...
Not the traveling part. Not the flying part. Not the family part.
I can't put my finger on it, but it was ALL so great (minus the minor meltdown at the airport coming home, but we can get to that later...and then totally forget it!)

At the time we bought the tickets we had no idea where our lives would be when the time came to get on the airplane. So many things changed: we could pay for it and by God's grace we paid off our entire credit card too, MB found out she would be through her first trimester with little "Meep" for the celebration, the house we stayed in was the BEST idea EVER (and worth the "stress" of planning and deciding, time changes didn't affect us too much, and no world war three broke out (there were a few rumbles under the waves, but nothing major!)...
:-)

The only thing I would change about the way the entire weekend(but I could not and will never be able to) : going through security with two kids a stroller, diaper bag, carry-on, and 4 pairs of shoes to take off.
ugh!

Gramma Mimi had a good time too, I think! :-)
There was always something to look forward to...

mmmmm...naps...
moving sidewalks...oh wait, that's just at the airport! :-)
and only 1/2 way to CA!

reading books...Gabby's choice was usually something with a dog. I was still pushing my way through the Twilight series (I still have 200 pages left in Breaking Dawn!)
There were some times I had to take a break to help little Gabbs...

The adventure had already been going on when we finally arrived!

Gramma Momma was sssssssooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!
:-)
so were we!
And so was Gramma Mimi...

"oohhhh! Is that John Wayne?" said Mimi upon arrival.

So much to look forward too...stay tuned!

Okay...I lied...
Just a few words this time...
True to tradition, Rog got a whole week for his birthday.

It's also a good "excuse" to get together and just have fun!

True to newest tradition, O is wearing his pajamas...

We did take a break to watch a bit of the Idol finale that night too!Gabs...kept piggy tails in and played peek-a-boo...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROG!
You are so loved!

I hate blogging without pictures to distract you from my words, but it seems many people were concerned about my latest words...the word "depressed" even came up and so I thought to update. I don't think my word choice of "inadequate" communicated clearly what my heart was feeling. It was not sadness or discontentment that set it off. I have never been a dreamer and sometimes wish I would've been when I was younger. But, I know that I can't change that. The only thing I ever remembered "dreaming" about was becoming a mother and becoming a teacher. I am proud I accomplished my dreams. and happy with where my life is. I love telling my students about my sisters and the dreams they accomplished: becoming a chiropractor, going to the Olympics, moving to the mountains, climbing mountains, traveling to exotic places, moving up the ranks in the military (and not paying for college), never having debt or worrying about finances (Lori)...

middle schoolers are easy to impress with stories like those!

My "inadequate" feeling is not about any of that.

It is a feeling that I wish there was more I could or would do with the life I'm blessed with. Could I give more of my "wealth" away?
Could I visit my gramma more often?
Could I finish the projects around my house...ever?
...without starting a new one?
Could I raise money for a cause without there being a reason?
Could I pray for my neighbors?
Could I like more people?

I can't force anything...when I do, it flops. I'm not worried that I am not doing enough right now because there is very little room on my "plate".

I keep up with my family (ugh! wish I could do more there!)
I spend time with my kids...as much as I can since they are in daycare everyday...
I date my husband.
I talk to the neighbors...and cut down a few trees for the one on crutches.
I try to visit Gramma once a week (sorry about last week Mim-dog!)
I teach...and love...my 150 some kids at school.
If I didn't teach, I sure would miss this...
I dream of projects to make for people...when will I get to do them?

So...no worries. I am just trying to keep my focus so that I don't get caught up in the blur of life and the speed it seems to be at...and ever increasing as I get OLDER!

No regrets...you have to make choices to prevent regrets...I am not saying I wish I could have or should have or would have...yet. I hope I never get to the point that I say that...

Make sense?

If you got this far...know this...all pictures next time! :-)

Thanks for caring...my few who follow!

Sunshine!

Days of sunglasses (Monday), wearing tank tops and sundresses (yesterday), and finally turning on the air conditioner to take away a bit of humidity because the breeze doesn't go through the windows just right (last night)...

(If only our lives were consisted of days at the park, eating our favorite foods, taking naps...)

I had an upset heart on Sunday, like my heart wasn't right. I tried to explain it to my husband, the rarely-understands-my-confusing-emotions-but-loves-me-anyway-and lets-me-be-me type of guy...I've never explained it this way:
"I feel inadequate." me
"What?!" him
"I mean. I don't feel like I am living up to the responsibility that God has given me as a Christian."
"What do you mean?" him (he rarely asks for more explanation!)
"Why is it so hard to commit to a community service project when my comfort will be upset? Why is it so hard for me to commit to people when I know I will be exhausted? Why do I want you to make the decision about what to tithe for the next year when we could be making that decision together and praying about it together?"
"hmm"
"I guess I can do NOTHING without God, so it's not like I'd be better off giving up..."

(at least I don't have to buy my son clothes...he wore this (yes, pajamas!) 4 out of 5 days last week...the other 1 day he wore his Spiderman swimsuit. He did not wear it yesterday because I finally sneaked it into the wash!)

I know I only feel this way when I'm on side of deflation...I'm not full. I told my friend that I believe she is blessed with singleness because she loves people and genuinely loves them...many of them! What I mean...she is so interested. She asks questions, plans things with people, remembers their stories and experiences, she invests herself in so many people...and it doesn't seem to exhaust her. On the contrary, she gives more...everything she has and is...she gives (she alone will be another blog entry!). She has told me she gets too busy at times or she needs some alone time, but how can someone love so much? Why can't I?(at least i'm not strung up like Monkey)
I do love. I am committed. I do have big ideas. But, something holds me back. Keeps me from giving more...loving too many people...loving too deeply...

(or bat girl!)

God calls us to give, love, serve, invest...
I know I can only be, do, and love the way that God created me to.
But, perhaps our blessings are not what they could be if I were open; heart, mind, arms, hands...

Satisfied with a puddle when we could have a day at the ocean...

I need to get my heart right...I want to see that day...

Cell Phones!

My camera may not always be handy, but my cell phone seems to be in the same room as me...usually! Therefore, I get lots of fun pics on my phone to share here.Love can never run on auto-pilot, cruise control, with a parachute.
Just like everything else, love was created by God. He gives us the grace...and the ability to love. Fruit comes to be on a tree that is planted, nurtured, loved, and cared for. The fruit of the Spirit are blessings in us as we allow God to live in us and through us. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control...

I was telling my mother-in-law the other day that I've never needed scientific proof of God, Jesus death and Resurrection, or even of the infallibility of the Bible. I don't want to believe anything else. And, it is so easy for me to accept because God has always been so real to me. I see His provision, His mercy, His Fruit...in my life. When I don't pray, this all becomes harder, yes.

Three things I wish I had more time for: spending time studying & reading, blogging, and exercising. With the few minutes before the kids wake (if I wake up earlier than them and am not sacrificing much-needed sleep) I can find a few moments to do one of those three...or, if I have the energy to get into one of these three after they go to bed, then I have a few moments. However, I admit it: I love relaxing with my latest STAR magazine or watching Glee, American Idol, 90210, or some other mindless entertainment! :-)

But I will say that tonight I have been blessed: I took an hour to do a class at the club; picked up Gabby and took her to the store where she giggled the whole time; ate a few slices of pizza (at least one night a week I give up on cooking a "healthy" meal); and played, giggled, tickled, and squeezed my little munchkin. I think she is even learning to "smile" in pictures.
(Don't ask me why there is a vein popping out of my forehead-just look at that little grin!)

I am now blogging and doing a bit of reading. I did turn on the TV, but realized that the one show I would watch would scare me too much (CSI) so I turned it off and am doing something edifying instead!
But also...I have given in! I started Twilight...
I know...I know...
I was given the book a year ago to start, but I have this aversion to sappy, unrealistic love stories that make teenage girls think or wish it were reality. I say I am passed the age of thinking it is reality, but am I going to wish any part of it were reality?
Am I going to be "mushed" to death????
ugh...
I will admit...I am already sucked in. Not even a 1/4 of the way and I can't wait to crawl into bed and read. :-)

If you've read this and have not been distracted by the way my children play, sleep, or dress...you may have caught a bit of contradiction in my ponderings. The site is telling me to check the spelling of that word so I am guessing it is not a word...even though you know exactly what I am talking about.
Contradictions...do you see them? does anyone care? do I?
Why is it so hard (resting on a feeling of "not necessary") to see the contradiction that I live daily?

Diagnosis: hardness of my heart...I know this because all those fruit have not been totally evident in my life...peace? patience?
How can my beliefs be so strong but my convictions be so weak?

anyone?

FAMILY! HOME, laughter, smiles...GROWING UP SURROUNDED...
What are the factors of a long life?
We don't get to choose the Family we are born into...

Love?
What is love anyway? How old are we when we actually understand who we really love?
when such a little girl acts like such a big girl, why is it so refreshing...and silly at times?

My gramma just informed me that they didn't have pacifiers when she had her 5 kids.
So, are they a blessing?...ask any parent whose child never took it...
(owen didn't, gabby does (obviously)...love it!...ask me in a year if it is still a blessing)
:-)

Affection? Happiness?
Do we have to be happy to live long?

What are the factors of a long life? ? ? ? warmth of a pink fuzzy blanket? a boy making silly faces?

being special...even if that means just being born a boy into a family of all girls...blessing are around every corner!

the things we are taught...Auntie Lori would be proud!


I do have more to say, but the day is calling me...will write more later of these blessings...
and perhaps I will share a burden or two...

Health...this time, this place...
We live in a time of technology and a place of priority. I know our health care system is a business and it's priority (besides for taking good care of people in need...) is to make money. Do we really need to go to the dentist every 6 months? Don't get me wrong, I do, but could I get away with once a year? and, do my kids really need to go to all their well-visits? don't get me wrong, I try to get to most because health insurance pays for them, but if I didn't have insurance, I don't know if I would.
Owen was a champ at his first dentist appointment. He is normally decked out in something like sunglasses at night or suspenders on his underwear so it's not so weird to see him wearing them here. They were actually the dentist's idea to keep the light from shining in his eyes. :-)

If we were born just a hundred years ago...or even 87, we might be in jeopardy of losing our teeth as we get older. But my gramma mimi says I have very little chance of that happening because of the regular care.

If I lived in a different country, my children may not have been born without complications because I had good nurses and doctors that monitored my babies while in utero. They were able to tell me to be on my side because Owen's heartbeat was dropping when he was "stuck". Little things like that I have to be thankful for. I know others live in this time and age yet are not so lucky. However, are they the lucky ones because they have a different perspective than me on life? or am I the lucky one to not have that experience?

Perspective...I just saw a video of a woman with a prosthetic leg who would not go back and change what happened because of what the accident gave her life...opportunity, a new life, experiences, and goals and dreams she never would have had otherwise. That's how I hope to embrace life challenges...

The things we teach our children...
and the things they learn on their own...

I am thankful that I was raised to value education, learning, literacy,...just to have and love books and language!Roger was reading Owen a few books the other day and became a bit tired. So, Roger suggested to Owen that they could do something different like play "Candyland Bingo"...or some other game.
Owen just said, "well...maybe just a couple more."
so...they read a couple more.
I know we are blessed and very rich to have so many books in our home.

Preschool...what to do...I am not striving for my kids to be the smartest or to get into the gifted classes or to get the highest test scores, but it amazes me everyday how much kids are like sponges! The more information you give, the more they soak up!
Owen has gotten a bit of preschool curriculum at daycare, but he already is talking about kindergarten! So we are looking into preschools for next year.

What to look for, where to go, what will work with our family, what is best for Owen...
That is our prayer these days. When I was choosing a college, a wise friend told me that "education is an investment". Well then...preschool is the start to an education...isn't that quite an investment to consider?

Making pudding is just fun...no connection whatsoever! :-)

Baby Feet...what a blessing!

I just had to share our latest praise:

Our kids have always been early-risers. It's in their blood. When family comes to stay with us, they know they will be lucky if they get to sleep in to 7:00 a.m. I am lucky if I get to sleep until 6:30 on weekends. So...after a rough week of testing and parent concerns at work, busy with the ins and outs of life at home, and a few late nights because I was working on a project...I needed some sleep badly! I was woken in the night by both kids last night, but perhaps that was a good thing because the next thing I knew...my clock read 7:55!

Aaahh!

Ok...that's not a life and death situation or a journey through a difficult trial but, hey, God's blessings are not always huge signs posted on the speeding highway of life after a life-threatening crash. Sometimes it is the cool breeze of the morning, enjoying a cup of coffee, being able to have a conversation with and holding someone you love (yes, dogs count...Taz, Ponch, Diego,Caleb...Sasha isn't really a dog...).

Other blessings?

• Roger's business is going well...and...he is enjoying it!

• Our love...that's a blessing...I love him more now than any time in the last 5 years. A pastor mentioned in a sermon a few weeks ago that we only have a enough love to get us to the alter. And that the day we get married is not the most you will ever love one another. I agree. When we got married, we had NO idea what we were getting into! Wow, that's an understatement!

• And now...being lucky enough to be together is one of our biggest blessings

(disclaimer: I know we have just begun and there are SO many more trials to come, but I am not going to sit and wait for those to come and pass...those trials may become our next big blessing...)

• our health: why is it we insist on finding something to complain about or get us down because we do not have it? I am so guilty of this. Especially when sitting around the lunch table with a bunch of teachers (or any co-worker?)..

• creation: We were all created different. Not better or worse than the next. My difference could be a "disability" or it could be my personality. It could be what I want out of life or what I enjoy doing. My difference could be what I wear or what I drive or the house I choose/have to live in. My difference could be the way I raise my children or what my children's choices are. Goals, dreams...or lack there-of...those could be my difference. Different is okay. Different is God's creation...look at flowers, snowflakes, blades of grass, tree branches, pebbles, grains of sand (ok, so I have not really analyzed grains of sand, but you get the picture...) God's glory and creation (afterall, I did nothing to have been born who I am)...how is that revealed in my differences?

Realizing that will by my blessing today...

I have diagnosed my problem with not blogging more often:

technology, especially with cell phones and facebook, has advanced past my original purpose of doing this blog. If I am going to keep it up, which I want to, I have to find a new purpose. so...

A week or two ago we were having a tough time with Owen...very disobedient, stubborn, disrespectful, insubordinate behavior. I will place much blame on too much sugar consumption at a birthday party...( I have an undocumented and unproven theory but I have seen it within the two days after a sugar rush...he repeats this behavior...proof? )

However, I cannot allow sugar to be the all-time scapegoat (or how much fun would life be without marshmallow peeps???).

So...I was in church Easter Sunday after an Easter basket of no candy and wondering what else to do.
Prayer. The obvious answer.
Anytime I have been in tears over how to discipline my child(ren) when he is exhibiting behavior that he seems to not be able to control, I pray.

How could such a sweet, wonderful boy be so bad?
Hmmmm...he does want to be Spiderman when he grows up...talk about stubborn: he "convinced" us that he should wear this to the family Easter get-together that same day...
Got to love him!
So, back to the purpose of my blog.
I was wondering if I could put on here...to the masses (my family)...
that I need help praying...

I know many of my family pray for my kids daily, but if I used this as a way to post praises and requests, it may help direct those prayers...
If no one ever reads this and no one else ever prays about the things I do...that is okay.
But...would this work to get a few more warriors standing behind and building that hedge around my children? Protecting them from the blows of the world so that they get the chance to learn what is good and right and pure and lovely...

We have so much to be thankful for so I will start with that...on my next post.
Until then...
God bless you in all the ways you seek and trust in HIM!
Happy Easter...a bit late but not too late to celebrate the resurrection!