Saturday, November 26, 2011

More Fall Fun...and thoughts about love...

 What's made me happy this time of year?
I feel like I am finally growing up...
I mean, I feel I have a handle on what comes my way more than ever.
Will I be saying this until I am 88 (Gramma Mimi?)? 99?
I know.  I just said something that will lead to the rug being ripped out from under me.
But,

I have never understood so well that I am not in control.
The more I try to control, the more unhappy I am.
I love my job, but I invest in my own family.
I realize that just because my kids are not babies anymore, they still "need" me...
more than ever but in very different and marvelous ways.
What a learning curve! 
I know I can't make my kids or my husband be someone different than they are.
I don't have to like everything they do or how they act,
but I'm not perfect either. 
I can't make Owen love his sister, but I can show him what love is and how to love...I hope.
I've been reading stories and comics all my life about kids fighting.
I grew up in a family of four girls...who, yes, did some fighting too.
But I still do not get it:  why do these two fight so often?
About such little, stupid things?????
"She got more raisins than me!"
"No I don't"
"Yes you do"
"nu-uh"
"uh-huh!"
"nu-uh!!!!"
and on and on and on...
When I can get them focused...and give them attention...
They are so sweet and loving and cute and nice and wonderful...
Here is my tribute to parents who have run the "marathon"...and then ran another...
and another...and are still being the best parents they can be...years later.

I think it's part of the curse from the Garden of Eden:
God said we'd suffer childbirth, but it was the rest that really shows His sense of humor.
Because of the fall, we are all born with sin nature.
Why oh why do we burn with desire to have children...
children of this human race?  born with sin nature????
all that selfishness, deceitfulness, greediness, and pride in one little body...
that grows into...

Maybe it's not really a "sense of humor"
as much as it is an amazing plan that He devised.
In order to have complete, satisfying, whole, forgiving, and merciful love...
I need Jesus.
Without Him, my own hardness would not allow me to love my family...
or anyone as I do am able.
 
"Amazing love, how can it be?  That thou my God shouldst die for me?"
So Thankful I am this Thanksgiving season...

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